Archie Hume of A Hume Country Clothing shares some tips on how to survive the upcoming festive season.
And so, it begins, innocuously enough, appearing at first to be something you might actually enjoy.
An invitation for Christmas drinks. Old friends returning from overseas. The first mince pie of the year…
But before you know it you’ve overbought. Overeaten. Had eight hangovers and plotted the death of difficult family members in such intricate gory detail that the sight of the giblets feels more like a flashback than reality. Just me? I don’t think so. That’s why I’ve consulted the A Hume team and together we’ve compiled a list of strategies to see us all safely through Christmas.
Christmas prep
Beware of anyone who uses phrases like ‘I just want this Christmas to be really special’. Christmas is just one day. Out of 365. Sometimes I wonder if Christmas Day might collapse under the pressure. We could wake in 2020 to find 25th December has disappeared entirely from the calendar. Just a sinkhole left where Christmas used to be.
It is tempting to guide these troubled festive souls to the promised land of perspective. However, this is a tough mission. Far better to nod wisely and direct them to the nearest Winter Wonderland. Hark the husky tones of Slade…
Pacing yourself
The party season can be long and arduous, so some pre-season training is a good idea. Remember pubs are busier at this time of year – filled with once-a-year snowflake drinkers – getting served often requires practised flexing of the festive bar muscles. Start off with a couple of light sessions in the boozer as a prelude to multiple nights out in a row.
Should you find your hangover gives you a cold that’s then exacerbated by work stress and still having to buy that one present for your other half, don’t try to soldier on. Give in to your man flu. Stay in by the fire, pour yourself a large glass of red and watch re-runs of the Only Fools and Horses Christmas specials.
Christmas patience
There are an endless number of festive situations that call for zen levels of patience and calm. Should you find yourself stranded at a party next to the braying bobble hat in the Brexmas Christmas jumper (Leave or Remain – doesn’t matter, declaring your political sympathies in festive knitwear is a Christmas crime either way), then I find it helps to power down.
Christmas is such a frantic time with precious few opportunities to simply relax. See if you can affect a glittering smile that fulfils the social need to appear engaged whilst actually catching up on some down time. I also like to reserve situations like this for reliving my favourite sporting moments.
Christmas Day
No matter how small a part you played in bringing the feast to the table (all that ordering, shopping, peeling and chopping) Manfully accept the position of glory that falls to the turkey carver. Your duties may be few, but they are key. Where would we be without our tree hefters, light un-tanglers and drink pourers?
And do try to be on your best behaviour. Affect an air of detachment (relive those sporting moments). Don’t react.
Should this fail, try to imagine Christmas without your family. Then take a moment to appreciate them and glide on through the day.
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